But it's only Chicken Pox ...... Part 4

And I don't know anymore. I rely on other peoples views, knowledge, recollection and what they experienced.

Elaine kept a diary for me, so that I would know whatr happened. Or at least had a timeline of things, maybe no more. Not her fault, no-one could have done more or better.

So fact time!

In ITU - they put me in their SARS room because I was infectious, I was their first guest. Filtered air, negative pressure through an airlock to stop infection etc. They had to get a special bed in that constantly rolled me from side to side so that the "crap" in my lungs didn't get a chance to settle.

Do you know what ITU (Intensive Care Unit) means, one on one care 24 hours a day, it's a Nurse sitting at the end of the bed constantly monitoring you. Oh, and adjusting things, you know this measure a little low so we tweak this drug here to change that.

When you are on a ventilator one of the problems is that your body goes "hmmm, I'm not breathing, therefore I'm pretty much dead, so why should I do this kidney thing (shuts the kidneys down), and that liver thing why bother (shuts down liver) so the longer you are on a ventilator the more your body gives up and shuts down. So for me most stuff start shutting down, I go diabetic, blood pressure fluctuates, stop peeing, blow up like a balloon (new Nurse to Elaine, has he always been a big man?) bloated so that I am almost unrecognisable. My friend Mark comes to visit and is warned what to expect, he mentally prepares himself, goes in to see me, takes one look and says I'm not prepared for this!

All the timne, I'm just not getting enough oxygen and that's still the problem. It seems that there is this machine, that works a bit like a dialysis machine except that this takes your blood out, adds oxygen (like a fake lung) and puts it back in. They want me to be on this machine, but it's in Leicester, and it's experimental, and they can't get me there because they can't take me out of ITU because I'll die (there I've said it) even if they tried to move me by helicopter. So they keep going, rolling me from side to side, controlling my bodily functions as best they can, pumping oxygen into me and hoping I'll survive.

You know and all the while Elaine is visiting me several times a day, looking after the boys, keeping everyone else up to speed and in the loop and trying to keep positive and sane when this mad thing is happening to her husband. Because at the heart of this I've only got Chicken Pox for goodness sake. How bad can it be?

Me, I'm off with the fairies at this point. I have so many dreams and realities from all of this that it will take me fuckin ages to get it all out, but I will somehow and somewhen.

This is now far harder to write than I ever imagined.

Laters.